A Letter to my Children

To My Creatures,

Recently I heard you talking about love, Alice you asked Louie who he was going to marry and Louie you said that you “were going to be like Jesus” It did make me laugh and although a future as a priest and nun would perhaps in some ways be appealing to us as parents, inevitably one day you are going to fall in love. At the moment, Boss Baby, you are almost 2 years old and in love with waking up horrendously early, drawing on walls and generally causing mischief. However one day all this will change and someone will come into your life and you will want them to stay in your life and ours as a family. Here are a few things I want you to know about love and what I have learnt.

Don’t Settle

So you’ve met somebody who has whisked you off your feet, you may have even brought them home to meet us. Your father donning his thickest Belfast accent to ensure the poor, terrified human has understood the full consequences, if his daughter’s heart is broken. Meanwhile, I will be in the kitchen pretending to make tea, whilst googling his/her mum, dad, twice removed second cousin, his/her best friends, their past medical history and any criminal convictions. Nonetheless you brought them home and unbelievablely they passed the checks from your father and I. But a couple of weeks, months, even years down the line you realise you don’t in fact feel the same about him/her anymore. You maybe even like them still as a friend but you don’t know how to break it off. You don’t want to upset us because we think he’s “a nice boy” To make it clear, even if the man in question is Prince George, if you dont love him, don’t settle! We will be 100 per cent behind any decision that will make you happy (even if inside I am weeping about no longer being invited to Christmas Dinner at Windsor)

Getting to 60

A strange title but I will explain. All my life I have had a little thought in my head and that is…What if I get to 60 married to this person? Would I be happy with my life? For years this thought frightened me so much. Then I met your dad and as soon as I met him I knew there was no body else I wanted to spend my whole life tormenting, even when I am 80. I knew I would be able to look back on my life and know I made the right decision. That even after that jet black hair fades to white, the wrinkles from years of me terrorising him have deeply ingrained, that I still love him, exactly the same, and would have not changed a thing. (stop pretending to vomit!)

Social Media and Role Models

Your father and I are lucky in the fact that we don’t really do social media (not personal accounts anyway) Therefore we have never really had the pressures social media can put on a relationship. Likewise, we didn’t have to look at the multitudes of false representations of relationships to base our marriage on as some may do. Instead we had our own parents, your grandparents, to show us what a marriage is and the reality of it.

I feel one of my greatest blessings in life is having parents who truly love each other. I know that even some of my closest friends, whose parents may have been seperated, would use my parents as an example of marriage at it’s best. The warmth and love between them has always ensured I felt safe and secure and I strived to find a husband who would make me as happy as my parents make each other.

Although he may have passed away when I was a teenager your great nanny and grandad had the same relationship and hearing my nan talk of him almost 20 years after his death overwhelmes me with the amount of love still there and that will live with her and us forever. Use them as your role models not those images you see on whatever social media is current, as they are what’s real.

Money Can’t Buy you Love

Like many of the Beatles songs I have inflicted on you all of your young lives this ones sentiment is so true. Yes it is nice to be treated and given nice gifts in life, but work for them yourself. Your father and I have never had a vast amount of money and probably never will but even if we did I would begrudge him spending huge sums of money on me because what’s important is time spent together and memory making.

There are plenty more lessons about love I am still probably yet to learn myself and many I had to learn the hard way. However be sure of this always; the love you have from your father and I is infinite and I hope you never have to question coming to us for advice. (Although perhaps me before your dad)

With all my love

Mum xxx

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